This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
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He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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