If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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