I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
