You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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