God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
