All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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