I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
4 words: hood of his car
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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