It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
