If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
