i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize