so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
