whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
