That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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