so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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