Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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