love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
