apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
