You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
