I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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