I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Everything about him screamed your future.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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