i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
