Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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