Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think my moral compass just broke
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
