So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
