3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
