there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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