I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
