I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
