I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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