Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
