We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
