But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
