My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I could make wine with my vomit
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
