I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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