im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
