i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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