it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
