a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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