Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
