You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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