he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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