i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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