Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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