I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
