Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
