He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She's the barista slut.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
