He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
