So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is her dick bigger than yours?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
