I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
