We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
