I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
