When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
