i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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