4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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