how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
