I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
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I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You're breaking my sexual little heart
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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