Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
