Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
worst night to have a conscience
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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