Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
