Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
