I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
