Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
