In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
