I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
