is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He? As in you personified your dick?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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