i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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